Matching Couples Christmas Sweatshirts, Holiday Pair

Amazon.com Price: £52.36 ($69.99) (as of 31/08/2026 15:13 PST- Details)

Read the Room rating

Pub only

Innuendo, swearing or worse. Friends, the pub, never the office.

How we rate jumpers

A couples sweatshirt pair at $69.99 carrying two double entendres: "It isn't going to lick itself" beside a candy cane, "They aren't going to suck themselves" beside two mints. Pub only.

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Description

Two sweatshirts, two double entendres, one pair of people who have agreed to this.

The listing title says nothing beyond "matching" and "holiday", but the photographs are unambiguous: this is a rude set, built on a candy cane and two peppermints. It is a good joke in the right company and a genuinely bad idea in the wrong one. As a garment, crewneck sweatshirts are printed fleece: warm enough for outdoors, comfortable enough indoors, and good for perhaps two or three seasons before the graphic starts to look tired.

Worth knowing

  • $69.99 is the going rate for a printed couples pair, so nothing here is a bargain or a swindle
  • Both halves need to be in the room. Matching jumpers on one person is just a jumper
  • Cold wash, inside out. Every printed jumper that dies early dies in a hot wash

If you want a couples set where you know exactly what the joke is, the shop has several: the I Come in Peace pair, the Todd and Margo pair, or the more elaborate his-and-hers set at ten dollars more.

Also useful: two-person and group Christmas jumpers.

Read the room

  • The two slogans are "It isn't going to lick itself" (beside a candy cane) and "They aren't going to suck themselves" (beside two mints). The listing does not say so; the photograph does
  • That makes this a pub-only set: friends, a house party, never the office and never the in-laws
  • If you wanted a matching pair for a mixed room, a cleaner couples set will serve you better

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