Description
Every grotto needs security. This jumper volunteers.
It is a joke that depends slightly on the wearer, which is unusual and rather good. On a big bloke it is genuinely funny; on a small one it is funny for a different reason; on someone who actually works door security it is the best jumper in the shop. Designs that interact with the person wearing them beat generic ones every time.
Choose this if
- You are buying for someone with the physical presence to sell it, or the self-awareness not to
- You want a slogan that is entirely safe at work — there is nothing here anyone can object to
- You want something that starts a conversation rather than ending one
Against it: like most tidy one-line designs, it will not win a competition. Prizes go to excess — flashing lights, tinsel, all-over prints — and a neat slogan is not excess however good the line is.
Printed unisex crewneck at $64.99, which is the seller's flat rate across their range. Cold wash, inside out, and expect several good Decembers before the print starts to soften.
If a prize is the actual goal, how to win a Christmas jumper competition explains what judges actually reward.










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